His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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