just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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