All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
