I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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