Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
