You smell like a Billy Joel song
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
