she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
