i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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