I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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