i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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