guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
