Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
