Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
