you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
