Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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