Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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