Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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