I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
