Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
