You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
