how can u be prego again
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
