maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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