If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The adults are the big ones right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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