I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just had sex on a roof
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
