well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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