Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
