i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
