dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
