batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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