Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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