I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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