No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
