It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
