I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
