Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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