We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
