would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
