Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize