Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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