I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
