I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
