she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
