I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
