I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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