He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
