I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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