what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
