hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
