He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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