sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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