there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
