Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Randomize