Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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