She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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