Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
